By Nicholas on 1/24/2006 11:08 PM

 You lucky readers get a bonus today, a double post! I was toying around yesterday singing yet another of my non-sense songs and came up with a good country-style "Dueling Pianos" tune in about 5 minutes (Ya, I have my moments...). Here are the lyrics for your enjoyment until I get around to laying down the tracks and building the MP3. I dedicate it to one of my most dedicated readers and the sparkle in my eye, my ma. If I can't make her pee herself laughing then I don't want to live anymore. Love ya, ma. ;-) Drum roll please... --- Ma Needs a Brew - by Nicholas "in the 3s" Schoonover my ma just walked into this hole to see her boy perform I cranked up on the keys and spat and tried to wail one more she bellied up next to the rail and listened to me sing then slammed her hand upon the bar and yelled I need a drink ma needs a brew ma needs a brew oh how 'bout you? ma needs a brew the more she sings the more she woos the more they bring ma needs a brew now ma's about the greatest woman...

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By Nicholas on 1/24/2006 12:02 PM

There are no great secrets in the game of Poker. I've heard this time and again by weak players that refuse to work on their game, "If those pro tactics were so good, then why would they share them?" Well Bruce Lee didn't get his ass kicked very often and he published all of his techniques in books for anyone to buy and learn. Knowing the path is much simpler than walking the path. Translation: I can tell you a million times how to play a hand correctly, but you have to play it yourself. It isn't an easy thing to remember what to do in a particular situation when you may not have seen that situation in months if ever; that's where practice makes perfect. I've played so many hands in my 7 years at the table that I've seen just about every possible situation and player type so many times over that my actions are automatic. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, counting down the pot and knowing whether I should call, raise or fold based on the Math without really thinking about it. With enough repetition...

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By Nicholas on 1/23/2006 4:07 PM

"I would like to propose a toast. To chicks with big tits, and SAKE!!!" - Nicholas "in the 3s" Schoonover Ya, so that's pretty much how my Friday night went. I hadn't been out for Japanese in quite a long while, but I found a great opportunity when Wookie and the Romanian came out to Fair-tucky for a visit and were looking to take a drink or two. First a little of the ground work. I have single handedly composed a tradition with certain rules to be followed at Japanese Hibachi or Tepanyaki style steakhouses where a performing chef cooks for your group with style! My tradition started a couple of years back when I took my best friend Jagger out to dinner with a couple of other people and he said that he'd never tried Sake. "SAKE!!!" I shouted, throwing up my hand for service and had an order of cold Sake delivered pronto. Now here are the rules and they must be followed to a 'T' lest bad Juju fall upon your house and your loved ones. You don't want bad Juju, trust me. 1. You must use traditional Japanese...

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By Nicholas on 1/18/2006 5:32 PM

Democrats answer GOP with own ethics plan I'm not even certain where to begin making fun of this ridiculous collision of words. If that isn't the most absurd thing you've ever seen, then you're one of those insane Liberal lunatics that love to kill babies. I'll have to leave the real fun to Ann, but I fear that she'll miss this week's column deadline while laughing and spitting soda out of her nose. I'll just leave this post with a couple of quick questions that instantly came to mind... - Will the new Democrat Ethics apply to "Coffee Talks" as well or are they just for Congress? - If the Democrat Ethics include the Senate, does that mean Hillary has to finally give back all that money she stole from the Tax Payers? - Is it now bad to jam a fork in a baby's head and murder it according to the Democrat Ethics? - Do the Democrat Ethics now make it treasonous to give a Communist enemy super power...

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By Nicholas on 1/16/2006 2:47 PM

I've seen a lot of stupid things in my 7 years at the Poker tables. Most of time it's just extremely bad plays by weak players and then they justify it verbally in a manner that makes complete sense to them and none what-so-ever to any sane human. That all part of the game; if there weren't providers in the game, then there would be no point in playing would there? Sometimes the REALLY stupid thing that I see happens when a less weak player will begin to correct the other player; that's when I get into the conversation. "Hey, you play your game and he'll play his. Can we just get back to playing Poker?", which usually ends in a "Pfft, ALL right...". At least it ends the conversation, there's no rational reason to help a provider improve their game and take money off the table. The people that are correcting their bad play don't care if they play better, it's all yet another example of a Poker ego trip to make a weaker feel inferior to another player. I won't tolerate that because I'm there to make money not...

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By Nicholas on 1/15/2006 9:21 AM

 I've finally come down from a wild holiday ride. Let's do a quick recap. It all started at BD's for the Turkey Day jam which led to a trip to Seattle for a couple of days the following week. Then I was jamming hard to get ready for our end of Quarter/end of Year (remember, I'm in Sales!). Then I flew to Vegas to see the parental units for our holiday get together and I played cards all week. Then I got neck deep into end of Quarter/end of Year, spent three days head-down grinding out a new customer demo for a nice deal. Slept through Christmas to recharge my batteries a bit since I wasn't done yet. Made with the New Years celebrations stuff with the guys, Flew to Seattle and watched the Long Horns make me some money (Love that Vince Young guy). Started a couple of deals rolling for this quarter, then jumped on a plane to Orlando for our Annual Sales Kickoff meeting at Disney World, where I slept a grand total of 19 hours from Sunday through Friday the 13th (Happy 31st Birthday to me!!!). Which finally brings me to today. Shit, I'm tired....

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